_____ YORK 1971____ :____ JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1971_____ : JANUARY 1971:___: New Years Day January First was a FRIDAY,,,, Now THIS was the worst year of my life. I had completely given up on ever becoming anything. I could see that it was all determined by money and how much money ones parents had. There had been no reward for my studiousness as a kid. All I had been doing was losing my youth while normal kids were having fun. I was a wreck. All I ever did was worry about accomplishing all the things that others and myself had expecte dof me since birth. Always trying to live up to what others expected of me and cracking more and more under the strain. I was no longer a good student but I was certainly not a happy young person either. I now figured it was pretty much all over. I saw no way to remember all the stuff I learned after Id be out for years from a subject so difficult. I saw no way to pay all these huge amounts of money, especially now that moving to York made my parents broke again. My ulcer wasnt going away by being out. All that was going to do would be to make it tougher if I did get back. My ulcer was still there with my worry and insomnia and nightly nightmares. And I didnt see how Id ever support myself or ever have a wife and kids as all money had to go towards college and not a social life. I pretty much said screw it. ,,,, I was still bored out of my mind and I could not find anyone I could relate to. Noone else in my family ever thought of going to college or ever being anything so they had no idea what I was worrying about. Other males were gone. Either to college themselves on their parents money in those rare-loan days or they went into the military. Dennis and Skip virtually vanished and they were no where near what I was trying to do intellectually. Dennis had no college interest and Skip took courses at York Junior College and got money from the state as grants while I scored much higher and got zero. ,,,, Took my daily walks downtown to just hang around,,, Maybe stopped by to see my mother at the York Bank,,, Took my Hannah Penn to Allen Field walks. Took my long walks to Mister Donut to nurse coffees until 3am and then walk back in the FREEZING cold. That was a bad winter. I think the Lincoln Highway Garage stopped staying open all night so my big excitement was to stop at the all-night Laundromat to get a machine coffee and warm up. I was the only one there at night and I walked that soliatry walk often. It was over five miles in the cold at 3am. A guess 3 to the laundromat and two from there to home. Must have done that about 25 times that January as there was never anything for me to do,,,, I started sending casette tapes back and forth to the guys at Briscoe. That was my biggest excitement of 1970-1971 in York. In those days you could mail them in the little plastic cases they came in for two stamps and an index card in side could be seen thru the case and flipped to send it back and forth. ,,,, Walked to malls,,, Cold War/Vietnam in the paper every day,,, Mailed and got Hallmark cards,,, I received a photo off a Frank Zappa album from Val in which he looks like a greaser. I put it on my third floor door. They also sent me a photo of it in the bathroom of their apartment (They moved into one and out of Briscoe at some time. It was probably not until Feb 1971, actually). ,,,, I also put a calendar with the dates checked off until I could return on the door with the other two things. All three things are there to this day, curling up. They probably did not actually go up there until Spring of 1971 yet the few months until my return seemed longer than the decades since then,,, I still drank at HOUSE OF LORDS downtown. At sometime in the future it turned into LORD DONSHIRES and then LORD BEFWICKS,,,, Still trying to get money for college and bothering my IU counselor. Nowadays any moron can get loans, but not then,,, I think loans by then were by the individual banks with rules by individual states. They werent really national loans yet and extremely tough to get,,, I thought of my dead dog every night when I went to bed,,, Still the Hippie era but York College almost non-radical,,,, Wondered if it was wise to leave the Catholic Church as I wasnt wild enough for the era,,, VW bugs were still big, Maybe Skip had his then,,, Girls wearing chokers then?,,, Still trying to figure out how to be all things for all people with no money,,, The 1971 SUPERBOWL was typical of 1971: worst one in history. Between Baltimore Colts and Dallas Cowboys. Nothing but fouls and mistakes and penalties. I watched it. I recall I was really sicjk that day. Naturally Baltimore won just like the baseball team won in October 1970. I had to hear all this Baltimore sports crap everywhere I went. They really got on New Yorkers here then. Unlike now, I was the only New Yorker around here then,,, No heavier Burden Than A Great Potential,,, On Sundays Id walk over to the EDGAR ST SHOP CENTER. Blue Laws then but BOOKLAND was open. There was also an A&P there and a fancy drugstore and the WEIS that is STILL there. ,,, I think this may have been when Dennis was doing all that shoplifting just 'for fun'. Figured! Any time I get to know anyone it always becomes a problem as everyone else around me does things I was taught from birth not to do. He got hundreds of dollars worth of gift certificates for BOOKLAND yet he still liked to shoplift from them. One day he has this big baggy coat and he slips the BASEBALL ENCYCLOPEDIA under the back! He then goes up to the counter with me and buys something small. He then walks right out with it. He eventually got caught sometime later at a newsstand at West Market and S.Newberry. I know that at one time he didnt show for something in Pa. and ran down to Maryland and another time he was wanted in Maryland so he ran to Pa. Once, he took a drink in Md and drove a car right thru a plate glass window. His first and last drink. Another time some drunk attacked him outside a bar and he hit the guy and the guy hit his head on the curb and died and he was wanted for manslaughter. Only with Ken and val did I ever find people who werent into getting in trouble,,, Had my wargames. Played with the Strat O Matic Baseball codes. Possibly played the game. Did I play my big metal hockey game?,,,, Parents always fighting due to money. My father was always doing anything he coukld to keep my mother and me intimidated. Always saying the most horrible things. Later hed say they were only words. Yet everyone had to watch anything they said to him. There were no 'verbal abuse' laws then. My mother was constantly scared. She'd say that she was always , "WALKING ON EGGS" where my father was concerned. He lived on almost nothing but sugary things and year slater I referred to his 'sugar fit temper' as hed go ballistic so quickly. Of course, the two bitches, Viola and Loralee could hide behind him. They were as reptilian and obnoxious as he was so they related to each other and against my mother and me. I wonder why else the filthy bitches thought they were getting away with it. Didnt they ever expect me to outlive my father? I guess evil doesnt look ahead,,, I'd see Bill and Steve a couple times a month, I guess. But not as much after missing the Sept 1970 trip as before. At some time they also went to COOPERSTOWN without me,,, I was at the Lincoln Hwy Garage on the way out one night. And some guy said to me that he never saw anyone as young as I so concerned with death as I was. That shocked me as I had just walke din, this guy, a stranger said something to me, I said a few sentences back, and thats what he came up with. I knew I was weird and depressed but didnt know I had gone THAT far down that people knew it immediately,,, If I went to the bar downtown for my two drinks or up to the North mall I probably stopped at the post office until midnight to stand alone in there and drink coffee out of the machine and hang around. ,,,, I spent a lot of time in the stacks of the MARTIN LIBRARY daily like a good nerd who didnt have a girlfriend. I had the same interest in girls as any 20 year old but they all seemed so jaded and wild compared to me. Nothing ROMANTIC about them. Nothing DECENT about them. No wonder the other guys just used them for sex. There was nothing there to love,,, But if I didnt have to worry about college I knew Id have a lot more leeway in life. I'd have a job in those days that they paid well. Id have a license and a car. id get around enough to find a wife and have a family. But college ended all that,,, My room was still on the 3rd floor where I was private. My father always tried to get me down to the front room on the 2nd but I always avoided it. ,,, Was this when Loralees husband John took me out to drink??? Or was it later? Couldnt have been too much later as I recall it was really cold. ,,,, Divorced women from high school still appearing. I doubt if a day goes by that I dont see women on TV whining about how their boyfriends and husbands beat the hell out of them and these guys are obviously evil and you can see it in their faces yet thats what those women wanted much more tahn any decent guy that would have treate dthem well. Young women are such evil sado-masochists. Evil to decent guys and to themselves. But loving to those males who are the least able to appreciate such things. I was learning that the hard way in the 60s and the return of all these defiled second-hand women confirmed it. I have seen no change since. 3-31-00,,, Friday January 1, 1971: Chilean Communist President to nationalize banks, cotton bowl- nd 24,tx 11,rose stanford 27,osu17, orange nebr17,lsu12, sugar tenn34,af13, ,,Jan3 Spker house McCormack retires-42yrs, glasgow soccer stands collapse 66 dead,, jan3-swiss to give usa bank acct infos, 1st proof of a crucifixion in israel, NFL champ dal17,sf10,, AFL balt27,oak17,,, JAN4 NIXON SAYS USA CAN NOW SEE END OF ITS INVOLVEMENT IN VIET WAR, Jan5-Nebr #1, LISTON FOUND DEAD,38,, jan7-1st MIRV installed, MASTERS/JOHNSON MARRIED,,, jan10-coco chanel dies,, jan11-NIXON SIGNS COOPER_CHURCH CUTTING HIS WAR POWERS,, jan12-big oil disc off Scotland,,, JAN16- BALTIMORE 16, DALLAS 13, SUPERBOWL,,, JAN 18- McGOVERN OPENS CAMPAIGN, U THANT WILL QUIT,,, jan19-Nixon stops cross florida canal. We spoke of this at UF later,,, jan20- bronco billy anderson dies,,, JAN 21-SENATE PRO-TEM RICHARD RUSSELL DIES,73,,, JAN 22- COMMUNISTS ATK PNOM PENH FOR FIRST TIME, NIXON STATE OF UNION STARTS FEDERAL REVENUE SHARING( GIVES FEDS CONTROL OVER LOCALS!!), jan 23- cousy,petit, saperstein in b-ball hall fame, MEL DANIELS OF INDIANA PACERS LEADS EAST OVER WEST 126-122 IN ABA ALL STAR GAME, MARTIAL LAW IN TUCSON- Univ of Ariz troubles,,, jan24-IU SWIMMER JOHN TINSDALE WINS SULLIVAN TROPHY AS #1 AMATEUR ATHLETE FOR 1970, IDI AMIN TAKES UGANDA FROM OBOTE,,, jan26-MANSON & 3 WOMEN CONVICTED OF MURDER OF SHARON TATE ETC,,, jan27: justice dept drops suit against LEFRAK if stops discriminating, NIXON TO DISMANTLE BIO WARFARE,,, jan31:3 ASTRONAUTS UP IN APOLLO 14 TO MOON, marquard, hafey, hooper, beckley, kelley, g.weiss, bancroft in bb hall fame,,, _______ ______ FEBRUARY 1971:___: February first was a Monday,,,, Woke up on third floor every morning,,, walked downtown,,, mother worked at bank,,, think my father worked at the national center for McCrorys loading trucks,,, Went downtown and hung around the 5&10s and big drugstores with their soda fountain counters,,, The stores were still nice but downtown continued to die as noone went there at night anymore and the factories near downtown kept leaving and the middle class was running to the suburbs since the race riots,,, Maybe ate some lunches with my mother,,, Sent those casette atpes back and forth to IU friends. really looked forward to the mail then as they were such good and humorous writers and talkers,,, Sometimes to the little fountain at Jackson/Sherman near my house. Still no college students living around me,,, Out to malls at night. ,,, Took the cottage place, hannah penn, poplar street, sherman st, allen field walk. Came back late the same way,,, Out to malls and Mr Donut at night and back via the stop at the laundromat all by myself maybe 25 times a month in the dark cold night bored out of my mind and just waiting,,,, I had been hoping to be able to return in FEbruary 1971 for that semester but that fell through and just made me more hopeless especially in the cold dark winter,,, 3-31-00 451pm,,,, 4-3-00: (Tonight I watch U.Fla on the big screen against MSU for NCAA b-ball title. Just because I went to UF. I also have to do my fathers bills and his CENSUS form. Naturally they sent HIM the 54 long one when his mind is a mess and he no longer has to do IRS so he doesnt keep records) In 1971 I also kept going to Hallmark and looking for cards to send friends. Real excitement for a 21 year old but I wanted nothing to do with all these divorced women who were appearing. Why should decent guys have to get stuck with the leftovers of rotten guys, I figured. ,,, ulcer, nightmares, worry all still there,,, Favorite shows were FIRST TUESDAY which was a better version of 60 MINUTES and that detective show that took place in the late 1940s,,, Was this when the Temborskis, my mothers younger brother and his wife talked my parents into co-signing for a trailer. My parents KNEW it would cause trouble. They KNEW that my mothers brother was too wild to hold down jobs and this was the WORST time to do it as my parents just went broke themselves by moving to York,Pa and getting stuck with minimum wage jobs,,, Nursed a couple of beers at House of Lords at night and walked home and hung out at post office vending machines to sober up,,, Still depressed every day about my dog dying months before. Small family makes pets more important especially when one grows up and ones parents are never home and the dog is the only one around during ones childhood,,, Was this when the A&P near my aunts house on East Philadelphia St went out of business? I recall being in a new A&P where the old FAHRQUAR PLANT COMPLEX was a block north of where I stayed with my mother on North Duke St. When we were there in Aug/Sept 1970 I think the whole plant was surrounded by boards. Did they finish building a whole new small shopping center there in that time? Seems alful fast but I recall being in there when my aunt showed up and she told me to pick out a magazine to get and I wasnt going to argue with her so I got the only baseball one she had which had a weird cartoon of the NY Yankees being rebuilt like a Frankenstein monster and she mentioned it was weird and I said it was just baseball inside. Now it WAS 1970 when the Yankees made their comeback after being lousy since 1965 so I guess early 1970 would be right. I also was impressed by the fact that she now shopped there every week and always brought the groceries home in a taxicab,,, Walked along the RR tracks a lot and took a few black and white photos with my YASHICA EZ-MATIC. Film was too expensive for me in those days. ,,, I was in the mARTIN LIBRARY a lot. Id be upstairs where almost noone went, going through the old books. Especially interested in old time baseball then. I took out THE GLORY OF THEIR TIMES. Which I thought was an old book but wasnt. I loved those 3 old hardcovers that were brought out many years before to cover the 1953, 1954 and 1955? seasons. Really bothered me in late 1971 when they were gone and sold to someone else during a book sale,,, Was I being bothered for my past loan? Was I still trying to get a new one to no avail? FEBRUARY 1971 was when the NEW semester started so it was another REALLY depressing month as I still could not return. Many more lonely months of vegetation,,, 4-3-00 500pm,,, OOPS, forgot the back of my note card,,, 525pm,,, 4-4: There were all these 'characters' in downtown York in the 60s and 70s: They were cruelly called things like 'waterhead' for a huge skull, 'flycatcher'- a girl my age whose mouth was constantly jammed open, and a number of people with one shrivelled arm. And 'airraid' who thought it was stil WWII and walked around with a flashlight and CD helmet. In the 80s it became a Balt Orioles helmet. People joked about the SHELTERED WORKSHOP, especially when it let everyone out at 5pm. Its still there but has a new name,,, When we could afford them there would be the onions and porkchops in the pressure cooker that melted in ones mouth,,, Lor was at her all-time rotteness towards me during the period right before she got married, but now I just pretty much avoided her since then. If only that bitch had died in 1963,,, Lincoln Garage still had that 50 years opened 24 hrs a day sign even though they started closing at midnight about this time. ,,, I sure had realized that if I never had thought of going to college I could have spent my childhood playing, worked at a factory for the good wages they paid then, had a car, dated girls as much as normal guys, and get married and have kids. And I would not be putting up with obnoxious relatives at age 21 as Id have my own job and place rather than the perpetual dependency on my parents house that college bills forced on me,,, Was I still reading the NY NEWS at this time? I think once in a while. Maybe my father went and got it,,, Penn Park, which was so safe in 1964 was nowhere to be now. And black teenagers would attack whites who went into it in the daytime saying it was 'their' park,,, It MAY have been around here that I went out with John, Loras husband, a few times. I just recall it was cold out. The first place he took me was the real sleazebag white-trash bar on East Philadelphia St a couple of blocks from Wallace St where most of the Neff family lived as did they. I would NEVER have gone into a place like that. I still recall everything about our entering and going to the right and sitting at a table and my getting a gin and tonic. A real Dive on the corner across from the SUNSHINE RESTAURANT on another corner and WAGNERS GROCERY on the other corner. I know I also took him to HOUSE OF LORDS at least once and he didnt feel at home in such a nice place. He had been afraid one needed a suit to get in. At LORDS we drank at the bar. He was also the very first to take me to HAP MILLERS VILLA ROMA all the way out along West Market Street near the bridge going to BORG WARNER. Now that was a weird place. It was two bars as one. If you went in the right door you entered the sleazy trash bar which he preferred. But if you entered the left door it was as nice as HOUSE OF LORDS and nicely dark and quiet. The counter in the right bar was on the left and the counter of the left bar was on the right. The two bars connected some yards up with a mutula bathroom and dining room. I think it was here that he started telling me of his total disrespect for my Cousin Loralee. How he cheated on her all the time including when he drove her down to Baltimore for her Barbizon Modeling School. "Life is a bowl of cherries", he bragged. I figured she got what she deserved but I was pissed that unromantic jerks like this were defiling all the women so decent guys like me would never get wives unless we wanted there messed up leftovers. Once he calmly says, "Loralee and I were screwing and she smelled beer on my breath and..." and Im thinking, "What a whore. And my whole generation is like that. They seem to love being totally disrespected by inhuman garbage while being so rotten to decent guys." He was always trying to tell me about their sex life but I didnt want to hear that. He was filth and she was filth and that was all there was to it. Two evil people just out to use and harm whomever they could.. He was also always trying to get me to stay with her alone while he was at work as he feared her cheating on him. "You're the only one I trust with her, Walt". If I'd see him in front of the house going to work he'd say, "Look up there, Walt. Loralees alone up there". He finally did talk me into it once and I wound up going up there. She was surprisingly civil to me that time. I recall her sitting on the couch as I sat on the floor. I remember that she asked me once if York could have earthquakes and I said it was very unlikely. I should have mentioned that any place could have tremors though. Her husband came home with some really sweey liquor I could barely drink. He was really into the black-trash "Cheech and Chong" that I could not stand at all. And I recall that AMERICAN PIE was big around this time.,,, HMMM!: I just looked it up: AMERICAN PIE was #1 from the end of DECEMBER 1971 into FEBRUARY 1972. So perhaps I didnt go visit Lor until the END of the year when i was off from college for either Xmas vacation or between semesters in Jan or Feb 71,,, :4-4-00
_____ MARCH 1971___:: Another horrible out-of-my-mind-boring month to survive through. So much for the glory of being 21 when you 'have' to live up to your 'great potential' with no money and a strict Catholic upbringing,,, Took the Hannah Penn walk to northeast walk probably at least 25 nights out of 31,,, Went downtown evey day to just hang around with no money and noone around I could get along with,,, Sent those tapes back and forth with the guys at Briscoe. They may not have even been at Briscoe anymore but were still in Bloomington. I learned later that I was awarded the dream of IU students for 1970-1971. They had given me a DOUBLE at Singles rates!!! And I couldnt get there!!! That figures,,, I had that stuff on my door they sent me at some time, probably about here: The Zappa Photo. Also a calendar upon which I had a countdown to return and a couple other things that are still there since 1971! Covered with dust and yellowed,,, Went to Jackson/Sherman luncheonette with the counter where I sat alone with my 10c coffee,,, Walked late at night to Boundary, Linc Hwy Garage, East Market, Mr Donut, Yk Cty Shop Center, York Mall, then back and warm up alone in Laundromat on MtRose Ave before the last two miles at 3am. REALLY cold miserable winter that year,,, Or was this when I got the mag with the NY Yankee cartoon at the A&P?,,, ulcer, depressed, worry, nightmares, Gelucil, parents broke and fighting, very rarely saw any friends,,,, Continue to play with breaking the codes of my SOM baseball game,,, Evey year you knew it was SPRING when the WOOLWORTHS downtown put all its little flowers for planting on the sidewalk in front of the store,,, Went to HOUSE of LORDS, later Lord D(OOPS, a hornet just landed on the screen. Had to get him off), Lord Donshires and Lord Befwicks and had my two beers every other day or twice a week. Just drank by myself in the quiet of the place. I think the skinny barmaid was named SAM as in Samantha (I noticed no connection with BEWITCHED for some reason) and she had also been at the NY Worlds Fair on opening Day. Another barmaid was thinking of fixing us up but I declined. I had to get back to college without any extra problems. She once told me that her father had parked his car by the ROMONA restaurant around the corner and a prostitute had approached him which made her angry. She once complained that she "had noone to take care of me" but I had too many problems of my own. She also had a kid of course and she was older than I. They were all divorced back then. I still wonder what ever happened to her as she was still a nice person,,, Still upset nightly by the death of my dog which only made the boring 15 months even more boring,,, College loans were still bank by bank and state by state and all fouled up with Catch 22s like the one I was stuck in. (Speaking of Catch22, it wa seither that book or THE DEERHUNTER that Lora had in her room at that time and aske dme if I had read. I didnt and I was surprised she did. She sure got more and more jaded and corrupt as she got older. By 1971 she was everything my priests and nuns warned me about. A real reptile with no decent standards or decent human emotions,,, 4-3-00 524pm 4-4: No, the book she showed me was in her room at her parents house in 1970 before she got married,,, Got Hallmark cards to send to friends at IU as my roomie in 1967 said, you have to send to receive. Hallmark was then at North mall, York Mall, Downtown and Queensgate,,, Still wondered if I should never have left the church as nothing had gone right since and all I learned from most non-Catholics was corruption,,, Nights in my neighborhood still quiet. It was still York JUNIOR College. College loans would destroy my neighborhood,,, At the EDGAR ST SHOP CENTER there was a fancy drugstore at the end with a nice serpentine counter in the very back and id go ther to mark time and drink coffee,,, Was this when Skip and I would go at night to the pizza place way out on East Market St past State St and get a pizza to bring to ALLEN FIELD at night and eat on the big green stands. i recall the night he dropped his drink so I gave him half of mine.,,, Still walking the streets alone at night trying to figure out how to do all the expensive things that were expected of me and the contradictory things and how to do all these things at once. No heavier burden than a great potential. Still had ulcer, sleeplessness, worry, depression. Bored out of my mind. Rarely saw anyone I knew. Not even sure if I saw Skip and Dennis at this period.,,, Some people went into my mothers bank or else it was one of the employees but either way they were collecting money to open a FISH SANDWICH place called CAPT JACKS a few blocks down West Market Street over the bridge just before NEWBERRY STREET. There was a big lot there across from where the mission NOW is and across from the all night restaurant. My mother wa sundecided about whether to put all this money into it. Fish was much cheaper than burgers back in those days. And still not very popular. The whole thing later collapsed on those who went into it. And even if they had completed the building there the FLOOD OF THE SUMMER OF 1972 would have ruined it,,, I saw Bill and Steve a couple of times a month I think,,, Father put a flagholder on the front porch and got an American flag. Do that nowadays and it would be stolen immediately,,, Now I went mostly to the VILLA ROMA to drink as it was a very SAFE walk back thru that neighborhood and over that bridge back then. Since the 80s it became the most dangerous walk in York but in the 70s it was the safest. It was then a slightly upper-middle-class neighborhood with nice little store. Sure went under fast in the 80s,,, But i still went sometimes to the HOUSE OF LORDS and stayed alone in the post office lobby until midnight drinking coffee and writing to friends,,, Went to mARTIN LIBRARY a lot and read, read, read. Never brought back a book late.,,, On Sundays due to the BLUE LAWS Id walk to the EDGAR ST SHOP CENTER and go to BOOKLAND and hang around for an hour. It was allowed to be open for some reason,,, I was probably alone all day long 25 days or more of each month from June 1970 thru August 1971. Mindnumbingly bored. :4-4-00 ______ ______ APRIL 1971 ____: APRIL 11, 1971 was EASTER SUNDAY.